Homesick

I'm homesick. It's true. I'll admit it. I have weaknesses. I need my family. I can't do it all on my own. I've realized how much I miss my parents and even my sisters. I want to see my nieces. I wish I was there for their Birthdays and their tball games and their school plays. I want to be an aunt they actually know for more than sending them gifts in the mail. It's hard to be away. But at the same time, I feel called. I feel that God is calling me to be somewhere...maybe not here (Oh I hope definitely not here forever) but somewhere that maybe isn't so close to my family. So this time of homesickness has been hard. Really hard. I'm not afraid to say that many nights I end up in tears thinking about how much I miss home and my family and my friends and all that is familiar and "safe". But I know that God has blessed me with incredible friends, a great church family, wonderful experiences and I'm learning with each and every day to rely on him more and more. I'm giving things over to him more and more because I can't do it on my own. I'm so incredibly incapable and when I let God handle it, it always always always turns out better. So maybe my homesickness is more than just a homesickness for home with my family. I think it's God teaching me to be trusting of him and his will. He's teaching me to fall more and more in love with him. And I love that feeling of being so wrapped in the grace and peace of Christ.

Okay I'm beginning to ramble.