It's been a day. One filled with goodness. It's past 2 in the morning. And I'm winding down. And I don't mind one bit that I'm up this late and have to get up in less than 5 hours. I'm thankful.
I'm thankful for conversations. I'm thankful for the wisdom of those around me that they are willing and loving enough to speak Truth into my life--even when it's hard Truth.
I'm thankful for friends that live close to me here in Florida and for friends in states far away. I'm thankful that distance has not and will not cheapen our bond. I'm thankful for friends who will listen to me talk about the same thing over and over again just b/c it's what is continuously on my heart. And I'm thankful for friends who will answer my phone calls...even when I call multiple times in one day.
I'm thankful for laughter. I'm thankful that I have friends that will call me just to tell me about quirky habits they have and how those quirks have played out in their lives that day and then we end up laughing about it all.
I'm thankful for unplanned conversations. I'm thankful that because I stayed up late I got to have a spontaneous conversation with a friend. I'm thankful that God provides wisdom and words to comfort friends.
I'm thankful for children. I'm thankful for my time spent with the kids at OURM and how a little love can go a very, very long way.
I'm thankful for hugs--how a hug can make everything else seem kind of insignificant.
I'm thankful for photographs and memories. I'm thankful for the little reminders of times that brought both joy and hardship. I'm thankful for these experiences and for the person they are forming me to be.
I'm thankful for "me" time. I'm thankful for time spent in the kitchen tonight alone with my thoughts. I'm thankful that I have the ability to prepare a meal for friends and that I can look forward to fellowship with friends over food.
I'm thankful for encouraging words. I'm thankful for the reminder that I am loved--perfectly loved. I'm thankful for the reminder that I'm not forgotten and that I am enough.
My life is overwhelming, for certain. I feel pulled in a million different directions on many days. And I constantly find myself asking "why?". But as I sit here typing I realize this: My life is abundantly full. It is nothing how I would have imagined it at this point, but nevertheless, His love is overflowing.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Faithful in weakness
If you read my last post (yes the one before the 2 videos...although those are funny and not to be missed!), you would have quickly found out that I've been pretty angry with God lately. I like to think that my anger with God has just been in the past few weeks, but if I'm to be completely honest, I've felt some bitterness towards him for quite a while. Sure, it comes and goes, but I think that it's been there for a while--just sometimes hidden by other things.
So today it would be suffice to say that I wasn't all that stoked about going to church. I had decided last night that I definitely wasn't going to the morning service and I was going to take advantage of sleeping in (of course, whenever I plan to sleep in, I can't and I was up far earlier than was planned...but I digress). So this afternoon rolls around and I decide that I'm going to go downtown to this coffee shop/cafe that I really like to work on some things that I've been needing to do for a while (ahem...write follow up letters for Africa...ahem). My friend Angela meets me there for dinner and at this point I'm still somewhat contemplating skipping evening church and just staying at the cafe. Well since Angela was with me, I kind of felt like I had to go to church....so I did. And now I'm sitting here thankful that I went. During the whole service I felt like God was having a private conversation with my heart--speaking directly to the questions that I've been asking for a very, very long time.
Anyways...let's see if I can put this down in a somewhat comprehensible form.
Recently, someone told me that sometimes my faith can seem kind of over-the-top. I remember looking at that person and saying "Huh. That's funny. Because I've been faking it. For a while." And I was being completely honest. I had come to a point where the gospel no longer felt alive to me. I was feeling (and to be honest, many days still battling these feelings) that God had abandoned me and that no matter what I did, it wasn't good enough.
And I'm still battling with all of this. Daily. Hourly. From the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep.
But I want to quit faking it. I want to be authentic. So here it is. Take it for what it's worth...maybe it'll still be "over-the-top" for you. But for me, this is real. This is admitting that I struggle. That sometimes I fake it because I don't know what else to do.
So how does that tie into tonight's service? Well...I'm getting there...I think. (It might take me a while...so bear with me. Grab a coffee. Settle back. Take it all in.)
It started with singing tonight. I've found that I connect in two very distinct ways...through music and imagery. And music has always been my favorite part of worship. So we start singing "This is My Father's World" and I remember one line in particular sticking out to me: "This is my Father's world, why should my heart be sad?" I remember thinking, "Gosh. How true is that? If this is my Father's world, then I have no reason to be sad. He has already claimed victory." But of course, life is hard sometimes and knowing that Christ has already claimed victory doesn't always seem to make up for the sadness and pain we experience.
So then we move on to some other songs until finally we started singing "Lord Have Mercy." I've sang this song a thousand times. But tonight it felt like it was my anthem.
So we're not even to the sermon and I'm already feeling immensley overwhelmed with Truth.
And then our guest pastor/speaker gets up to deliver the sermon. I begin to zone out a bit until he starts to mention things about prayer and anxiety. And then with my interest sparked he goes on to speak the Truth that my heart has been longing to hear. And I'm also convicted of several things. First he tells us that we often feel anxious because "we don't believe the truth of God's fatherhood that's presented to us in the Gospel." We don't see God as a loving father so instead we live like orphans having to prove ourselves.
Sidenote: The verses that were being covered were Matthew 6:9-14 and Matthew 7:7-11. Chapter 6 is the Lord's Prayer and Chapter 7 is the verses about asking, seeking and knocking and it will be given to you and the verses about how if your son asked you for bread would you give him a stone? Of course not, so how much more will God provide. Okay back to the story...(and this is me paraphrasing what I heard tonight and what I was thinking while hearing it. I wish I were this wise to come up with this on my own. But I'm not.)
So of course at this point I'm sitting there thinking..."Okay, so the verses say that if I ask it will be given to me, if I seek I will find, and if I knock the doors will be open, so why the heck don't I have anything I've asked for and why the heck do I feel so stinkin' abandoned by you God?"
And then the pastor says this: So the verses say that if we ask for fish we won't be given a serpent (we'll be given fish, of course), but what if what we ask for sometimes is a serpant? Of course God is not going to grant us a request that would put us in danger. What if what we're asking for seems like a good thing, but in reality would be nurturing in us a love for worldly things and leading us away from faith and into self reliance and unbelief.
Wow. Hmm. Yep. It's starting to come together for me. How many times have I said to God "If you would grant me just these few things then I would have all I would need." Well that's funny because if I would have all I would need I'd have no need for God. Not exactly the way He's intended it to be. In fact, I think the way He's intended it to be is that all we would need is Him.
But that still leaves a lot of unaswered questions for me. I mean, why the heck would God make all these promises to me (to his people) and yet leave me feeling like he hasn't fulfilled them?
The Already and the Not Yet.
That's where we are living. Christ has Already conquered this world but his Kingdom has Not Yet come. So we're left living in the Gap. (not the clothing store, unfortunately...). We're left living somewhere between this place of reality and the Promises that are already ours.
So what do we do when experience these times of living in the Gap? Often we swing like a pendullum from one response to the other. We go from Dispair--giving up and quitting because we must be doing something wrong to Determination and Moralism--taking things into our hands and doing it in our own strength. In Despair our hope is lowered and we become cynical becaus "it hurts to hope in the face of continual failure." But in Determination we do whatever it takes to fix it because we are convinced that if we push through, try harder, and be more, we will achieve that hope.
But in both of those instances we're turned away from prayer and away from reliance on God. We've either given up or we've decided to do it on our own. And the thing is...maybe God is making us weak. Yeah. Maybe he's making us weak because it's only in our weakness that we have the need to come to him in prayer. "If life is hard, you feel weak, helpless, overwhelmed--stop thinking you're doing something wrong. It just means God is working." Christ longs to be our Father, but to be fathered we have to recognize that we have need that only Christ can meet.
So at this point I'm getting it. But at the same time I'm thinking, "How the heck do I live in the Gap?" And that's the thing...it's only through reliance on Christ and through prayer that I can live contently in the Gap. It's in my weakness that my faith is refined. It's in my weakness that my faith is turned from fake to authentic. It's in my weakness that I don't have to try so hard and prove myself. "Jesus lost his sonship so we could gain ours." Our salvation is secure when we claim Christ's moral record and not our own. I don't have to be an over-the-top, intesnse rule follower. I don't have to have it all figured out. I just have to accept what is already mine through Christ.
So that's where my heart is tonight...I'm longing for God to answer my need and give me all that I ask. But of course, I know that I ask for serpants. A lot. So I'm thankful that He's loving enough to deny me of these things.
And it's a battle. I know that tomorrow morning I'll wake up and all over again I'll be questioning where God is, why my heart is hurting, and when he'll provide the desires of my heart. And all over again I'll have to remind myself to go to him in prayer trusting that His Promise remains and He will provide.
Thanks for reading along, friends.
So today it would be suffice to say that I wasn't all that stoked about going to church. I had decided last night that I definitely wasn't going to the morning service and I was going to take advantage of sleeping in (of course, whenever I plan to sleep in, I can't and I was up far earlier than was planned...but I digress). So this afternoon rolls around and I decide that I'm going to go downtown to this coffee shop/cafe that I really like to work on some things that I've been needing to do for a while (ahem...write follow up letters for Africa...ahem). My friend Angela meets me there for dinner and at this point I'm still somewhat contemplating skipping evening church and just staying at the cafe. Well since Angela was with me, I kind of felt like I had to go to church....so I did. And now I'm sitting here thankful that I went. During the whole service I felt like God was having a private conversation with my heart--speaking directly to the questions that I've been asking for a very, very long time.
Anyways...let's see if I can put this down in a somewhat comprehensible form.
Recently, someone told me that sometimes my faith can seem kind of over-the-top. I remember looking at that person and saying "Huh. That's funny. Because I've been faking it. For a while." And I was being completely honest. I had come to a point where the gospel no longer felt alive to me. I was feeling (and to be honest, many days still battling these feelings) that God had abandoned me and that no matter what I did, it wasn't good enough.
And I'm still battling with all of this. Daily. Hourly. From the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep.
But I want to quit faking it. I want to be authentic. So here it is. Take it for what it's worth...maybe it'll still be "over-the-top" for you. But for me, this is real. This is admitting that I struggle. That sometimes I fake it because I don't know what else to do.
So how does that tie into tonight's service? Well...I'm getting there...I think. (It might take me a while...so bear with me. Grab a coffee. Settle back. Take it all in.)
It started with singing tonight. I've found that I connect in two very distinct ways...through music and imagery. And music has always been my favorite part of worship. So we start singing "This is My Father's World" and I remember one line in particular sticking out to me: "This is my Father's world, why should my heart be sad?" I remember thinking, "Gosh. How true is that? If this is my Father's world, then I have no reason to be sad. He has already claimed victory." But of course, life is hard sometimes and knowing that Christ has already claimed victory doesn't always seem to make up for the sadness and pain we experience.
So then we move on to some other songs until finally we started singing "Lord Have Mercy." I've sang this song a thousand times. But tonight it felt like it was my anthem.
"Jesus I've forgotten the words that You have spoken,And I just sat there, soaking it all in. The struggles have seemed so strong that in the midst of it all, I've forgotten the Promise that is already mine. The passion that drives my heart is gone. And I feel so in need (and so thankful) for the Lord's mercy. That he hasn't given up on me and that he won't give up on me.
Promises that burned within my heart have now grown dim.
With a doubting heart I follow the paths of earthly wisdom.
Forgive me for my unbelief, renew my heart again.
Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy on me."
So we're not even to the sermon and I'm already feeling immensley overwhelmed with Truth.
And then our guest pastor/speaker gets up to deliver the sermon. I begin to zone out a bit until he starts to mention things about prayer and anxiety. And then with my interest sparked he goes on to speak the Truth that my heart has been longing to hear. And I'm also convicted of several things. First he tells us that we often feel anxious because "we don't believe the truth of God's fatherhood that's presented to us in the Gospel." We don't see God as a loving father so instead we live like orphans having to prove ourselves.
Sidenote: The verses that were being covered were Matthew 6:9-14 and Matthew 7:7-11. Chapter 6 is the Lord's Prayer and Chapter 7 is the verses about asking, seeking and knocking and it will be given to you and the verses about how if your son asked you for bread would you give him a stone? Of course not, so how much more will God provide. Okay back to the story...(and this is me paraphrasing what I heard tonight and what I was thinking while hearing it. I wish I were this wise to come up with this on my own. But I'm not.)
So of course at this point I'm sitting there thinking..."Okay, so the verses say that if I ask it will be given to me, if I seek I will find, and if I knock the doors will be open, so why the heck don't I have anything I've asked for and why the heck do I feel so stinkin' abandoned by you God?"
And then the pastor says this: So the verses say that if we ask for fish we won't be given a serpent (we'll be given fish, of course), but what if what we ask for sometimes is a serpant? Of course God is not going to grant us a request that would put us in danger. What if what we're asking for seems like a good thing, but in reality would be nurturing in us a love for worldly things and leading us away from faith and into self reliance and unbelief.
Wow. Hmm. Yep. It's starting to come together for me. How many times have I said to God "If you would grant me just these few things then I would have all I would need." Well that's funny because if I would have all I would need I'd have no need for God. Not exactly the way He's intended it to be. In fact, I think the way He's intended it to be is that all we would need is Him.
But that still leaves a lot of unaswered questions for me. I mean, why the heck would God make all these promises to me (to his people) and yet leave me feeling like he hasn't fulfilled them?
The Already and the Not Yet.
That's where we are living. Christ has Already conquered this world but his Kingdom has Not Yet come. So we're left living in the Gap. (not the clothing store, unfortunately...). We're left living somewhere between this place of reality and the Promises that are already ours.
So what do we do when experience these times of living in the Gap? Often we swing like a pendullum from one response to the other. We go from Dispair--giving up and quitting because we must be doing something wrong to Determination and Moralism--taking things into our hands and doing it in our own strength. In Despair our hope is lowered and we become cynical becaus "it hurts to hope in the face of continual failure." But in Determination we do whatever it takes to fix it because we are convinced that if we push through, try harder, and be more, we will achieve that hope.
But in both of those instances we're turned away from prayer and away from reliance on God. We've either given up or we've decided to do it on our own. And the thing is...maybe God is making us weak. Yeah. Maybe he's making us weak because it's only in our weakness that we have the need to come to him in prayer. "If life is hard, you feel weak, helpless, overwhelmed--stop thinking you're doing something wrong. It just means God is working." Christ longs to be our Father, but to be fathered we have to recognize that we have need that only Christ can meet.
So at this point I'm getting it. But at the same time I'm thinking, "How the heck do I live in the Gap?" And that's the thing...it's only through reliance on Christ and through prayer that I can live contently in the Gap. It's in my weakness that my faith is refined. It's in my weakness that my faith is turned from fake to authentic. It's in my weakness that I don't have to try so hard and prove myself. "Jesus lost his sonship so we could gain ours." Our salvation is secure when we claim Christ's moral record and not our own. I don't have to be an over-the-top, intesnse rule follower. I don't have to have it all figured out. I just have to accept what is already mine through Christ.
So that's where my heart is tonight...I'm longing for God to answer my need and give me all that I ask. But of course, I know that I ask for serpants. A lot. So I'm thankful that He's loving enough to deny me of these things.
And it's a battle. I know that tomorrow morning I'll wake up and all over again I'll be questioning where God is, why my heart is hurting, and when he'll provide the desires of my heart. And all over again I'll have to remind myself to go to him in prayer trusting that His Promise remains and He will provide.
Thanks for reading along, friends.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Transparency
Short and sweet: I'm so thankful when God puts people in my life who I can be completely transparent with. I'm so thankful that I don't have to fake it and pretend that I'm always okay. God provides...even when things are hard...God provides.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Anger, Judgement, Grace, and Love
I'm not going to lie. I've been pretty pissed with God lately. Am I allowed to say that? I think so. I mean, I've tried the whole "let's only offer up joy and thanksgiving" to God thing for a long time. And you know what? I think that's pretty fake. Because let's be honest, life isn't always easy. While challenges help us to grow and become the children that God desires for us to be, they can be difficult and painful. And I think we're led to believe as Christians that we can't have pain, we can't have struggles and we certainly can't publicly show that pain and struggles. But that's so fake. We live in a fallen, broken world. We will sin. And we'll try not to, and we'll fall to it again. And so I've decided I'm done with all of that. While there certainly is a time for joy and thanksgiving and while I know I'm incredibly blessed, right now the emotion that I'm dealing with is pain, hurt, and anger. I'm angry that God feels distant. I'm angry that it seems as though God refuses to listen to my prayers. I'm angry that it felt like God led me down this path and then peaced out on me.
But tonight...suddenly...I felt like he sent me a small sign that He hasn't peaced out. I felt relief...finally. Relief that He hadn't given up on me like I had given up on him.
See, here's how it all went down. Earlier in the day I was looking at some twitter updates...no, no, no...let's back up. In the past few days and maybe even the past week I've started to feel convicted a lot about how I pass judgement and condemnation on people very unfairly. I'm quick to call out faults in others all the while blinded to my own sin. I desire perfection (which in and of itself is likely a sin since I'm surely seeing this as an idol in my life), but I measure perfection according to worldly standards. If the world...even if it's the evangelical Christian world, expects for Christians to act and be a certain way, then I need to live up to that expectation. And everyone who is in relationship and/or community with me needs to live up to that expectation, too. Except, what does that create? It creates this big charade of people pretending like they've got their act together. It creates this entity of people claiming to be Christians but not fully benefiting of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Jesus doesn't call us to have our act together and to be sinless. If that were the case, His death on the cross would be entirely insignificant and pointless. Rather, by following Christ we reap His reward...we are sanctified in Him. Our sins are wiped away (yes, even the ones that we commit over and over and over again) and we are able to experience true grace and true love. But we have to be honest and transparent with ourselves and our community to reap the full benefits of Christ's love for us. We have to be willing to admit our sins and our struggles and our imperfections...and our community needs to withhold condemnation b/c it's certainly not their place. Our community needs to extend love, mercy, and grace.
So, that's the battle that's been going on in my heart. I feel like I owe so many people apologies for judging and condemning them rather than extending unconditional love to them.
Anyways, back to where I felt God speaking to me again...so last night a friend of mine had made a statement on Twitter about how as Christians we should be cautious to make statements as to what does and does not glorify God (ie cautious to pass judgment). Then today I saw someone else Twitter about a blog post they had written about this very topic. Seeing as it was something that I had battling in my heart recently, I decided to read it. (You can find the blog post here). It really confirmed what God had already begun to speak into my heart. So fast forward to tonight. I'm at Small Group when our leader says we're going to discuss that day's City Bible Reading (my church has a daily Bible Reading schedule that everyone in the church follows). Well, since I've been pretty pissed at God lately, I've decided not to read my Bible (yes...GASP!) because clearly that'll show him that I mean business. So I open the Bible to the passage that we're going to cover and wouldn't you know...I actually had read it...by accident...earlier that day in the blog post. We were discussing 1 Corinthians 6:1-12 and what it meant not to be judgmental and condemning, but rather, what it would look like if we extended mercy to those in our lives.
Crazy. It's clear to me that God is orchestrating this all. To place this conviction upon my heart and then to have it show up so obviously in my life. It opened my eyes not only to the ways that I've sinned against others (by not showing love and grace and mercy) but also to the fact that God is clearly not giving up on me even though I've given up on him for a while. He hears my cries and He is reminding me that He's listening. I still confidently believe that God desires for us to be honest with him and convey to him when we're sad, upset, or even angry b/c it's only in this way that he can heal us of our brokeness so that we can lift up our joys and our praise to him.
Have any thoughts to share?
But tonight...suddenly...I felt like he sent me a small sign that He hasn't peaced out. I felt relief...finally. Relief that He hadn't given up on me like I had given up on him.
See, here's how it all went down. Earlier in the day I was looking at some twitter updates...no, no, no...let's back up. In the past few days and maybe even the past week I've started to feel convicted a lot about how I pass judgement and condemnation on people very unfairly. I'm quick to call out faults in others all the while blinded to my own sin. I desire perfection (which in and of itself is likely a sin since I'm surely seeing this as an idol in my life), but I measure perfection according to worldly standards. If the world...even if it's the evangelical Christian world, expects for Christians to act and be a certain way, then I need to live up to that expectation. And everyone who is in relationship and/or community with me needs to live up to that expectation, too. Except, what does that create? It creates this big charade of people pretending like they've got their act together. It creates this entity of people claiming to be Christians but not fully benefiting of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Jesus doesn't call us to have our act together and to be sinless. If that were the case, His death on the cross would be entirely insignificant and pointless. Rather, by following Christ we reap His reward...we are sanctified in Him. Our sins are wiped away (yes, even the ones that we commit over and over and over again) and we are able to experience true grace and true love. But we have to be honest and transparent with ourselves and our community to reap the full benefits of Christ's love for us. We have to be willing to admit our sins and our struggles and our imperfections...and our community needs to withhold condemnation b/c it's certainly not their place. Our community needs to extend love, mercy, and grace.
So, that's the battle that's been going on in my heart. I feel like I owe so many people apologies for judging and condemning them rather than extending unconditional love to them.
Anyways, back to where I felt God speaking to me again...so last night a friend of mine had made a statement on Twitter about how as Christians we should be cautious to make statements as to what does and does not glorify God (ie cautious to pass judgment). Then today I saw someone else Twitter about a blog post they had written about this very topic. Seeing as it was something that I had battling in my heart recently, I decided to read it. (You can find the blog post here). It really confirmed what God had already begun to speak into my heart. So fast forward to tonight. I'm at Small Group when our leader says we're going to discuss that day's City Bible Reading (my church has a daily Bible Reading schedule that everyone in the church follows). Well, since I've been pretty pissed at God lately, I've decided not to read my Bible (yes...GASP!) because clearly that'll show him that I mean business. So I open the Bible to the passage that we're going to cover and wouldn't you know...I actually had read it...by accident...earlier that day in the blog post. We were discussing 1 Corinthians 6:1-12 and what it meant not to be judgmental and condemning, but rather, what it would look like if we extended mercy to those in our lives.
Crazy. It's clear to me that God is orchestrating this all. To place this conviction upon my heart and then to have it show up so obviously in my life. It opened my eyes not only to the ways that I've sinned against others (by not showing love and grace and mercy) but also to the fact that God is clearly not giving up on me even though I've given up on him for a while. He hears my cries and He is reminding me that He's listening. I still confidently believe that God desires for us to be honest with him and convey to him when we're sad, upset, or even angry b/c it's only in this way that he can heal us of our brokeness so that we can lift up our joys and our praise to him.
Have any thoughts to share?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Can we talk about how much I love music?
Free download from Griffin House. He's good. I promise you. (Although this song has a bit of an 80s feel to it...hmmm). Either way, it's free. Get it. For FREE (did I mention that already?)
Monday, April 12, 2010
Good music makes my heart happy
Good music makes my heart happy...especially when it's FREE. Today Amazon had a free download of a song from the new Matt Wertz EP. I'm a big Matt Wertz fan...I've seen him in concert 2 or 3 times and he never disappoints. Anyway, today's free download was "Sing My Lonesome Away". Here's a YouTube video of the song. It's good. I promise. Enjoy.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Birthday, birthday, birthday
Quarter of a century. Yep, I'm getting old. And yes, I decided today was my day to return to the blogging world. I know internet, you've missed me. My twitter updates just aren't enough to satisfy your curiousity. Completely understandable. I lead an exciting life...every single minute. I mean, in all honesty, I should probably give you a daily play by play because my life is THAT exciting. But, dear internet, I've always been told that you've got to leave a little to the imagination. So, sorry, no play by play. But don't you worry, I'll let you in on the big, exciting happenings.
In any case, you've missed big, exciting happenings in my life for the past 3 1/2 or 4 months. Tragic, really. See here's the thing. I felt bad that I hadn't given a thorough update about my time spent in Africa (and I feel even worse that I haven't given that update to the people who supported me), so I felt guilty writing about anything else in my life when you didn't yet know about Africa. But I've come to terms with things...the Africa letter is still being written (slow and steady wins the race, right? I'm looking at this letter from a turtle's point of view thankyouverymuch), but in the meantime, life has gone on. And I need documentation of this life of mine so that someday when I'm rich and famous (hey, it could happen!! I just have to get really good at something...suggestions???) someone can write a biography about my life and use this here blog as a reference. It's a brilliant idea. Really and truly.
So...where to start, where to start. Shall I give you a snapshot of the past 3 1/2 - 4 months? Okay here goes (I feel like if I were saying this out loud, I should have to do it all in 60 seconds or less...so when you read this, read it really fast so you get that effect!).
-Spent a weekend in Pittsburgh and saw my awesome friend Jana, her husband Ryan and their adorable little boy
-Flew to Texas...twice (first time ever to Texas!)
-Went to the rodeo for the first (YAY FOR MUTTON BUSTERS!)
-Went Texas Two-Steppin' for the first time (kinda loved it)
-Saw my best friend from Ohio for the first time since Labor Day
-Spent my birthday with the world's cutest, most adorable nieces
-Spent a week with my parents when they visited in March
-Had a successful garage sale (hey, this was exciting for me!)
-Was a model in a photoshoot for work (just waiting on the modeling agencies to call...ha!)
-Worked an event at the sports complex where I got to see a bunch of NFL players, Olympic athletes, etc.
-Went kayaking (it's kinda one of my favorite things to do here in Florida...no lie)
-Watched a few cheerleading competitions (not gonna lie...it was eerily similar to "Bring It On")
Okay, I think that covers quite a bit. So you basically get the idea. And oh yeah...I worked a bunch because that's what I do. And I'm pretty good at it (even in all my modesty).
Sooo now that you're caught up (don't you feel better? Like more complete? I thought so), let's talk about birthday. I'm not even gonna fib and pretend that it was exactly how I expected it would be...in fact, it was quite a bit different. But, I had some really refreshing, wonderful moments today. This morning I opened my door to find that my friend Ryan (who I shall now refer to as the Birthday Fairy), had left a gift for me on my porch. I got an awesome Buckeyes tank and a Gator toothbrush (yes, 2 team paraphernalia that should not be intermixed...shame shame). I got to spend the day with my beautiful and funny nieces who I don't get to see nearly enough. While I was sitting outside one of the rides waiting for my family, a lady next to me started up a conversation with me and was honestly one of the nicest ladies I've ever met. She was so sweet and so talkative and when I got up to leave wished me all the best. Got a bunch of great bday wishes from friends and family. And finally, my roommate joined us this evening and spent the rest of the night at Epcot with us and now I'm getting ready to watch SNL (which I haven't watched in far too long) with some friends (what's better than ending the day with laughter?!?).
So there you have it. Caught up. It's almost like I never left!! I make no promises, internet, that I won't leave you again for an extended vacation, but I'll bring my A-game and try to commit to you.
Oh, and the best birthday gift I got? Probably the saweeet farmers tan and sunburned lips. It's hott (and hot).
Saturday Night Live time. Bye friends.
In any case, you've missed big, exciting happenings in my life for the past 3 1/2 or 4 months. Tragic, really. See here's the thing. I felt bad that I hadn't given a thorough update about my time spent in Africa (and I feel even worse that I haven't given that update to the people who supported me), so I felt guilty writing about anything else in my life when you didn't yet know about Africa. But I've come to terms with things...the Africa letter is still being written (slow and steady wins the race, right? I'm looking at this letter from a turtle's point of view thankyouverymuch), but in the meantime, life has gone on. And I need documentation of this life of mine so that someday when I'm rich and famous (hey, it could happen!! I just have to get really good at something...suggestions???) someone can write a biography about my life and use this here blog as a reference. It's a brilliant idea. Really and truly.
So...where to start, where to start. Shall I give you a snapshot of the past 3 1/2 - 4 months? Okay here goes (I feel like if I were saying this out loud, I should have to do it all in 60 seconds or less...so when you read this, read it really fast so you get that effect!).
-Spent a weekend in Pittsburgh and saw my awesome friend Jana, her husband Ryan and their adorable little boy
-Flew to Texas...twice (first time ever to Texas!)
-Went to the rodeo for the first (YAY FOR MUTTON BUSTERS!)
-Went Texas Two-Steppin' for the first time (kinda loved it)
-Saw my best friend from Ohio for the first time since Labor Day
-Spent my birthday with the world's cutest, most adorable nieces
-Spent a week with my parents when they visited in March
-Had a successful garage sale (hey, this was exciting for me!)
-Was a model in a photoshoot for work (just waiting on the modeling agencies to call...ha!)
-Worked an event at the sports complex where I got to see a bunch of NFL players, Olympic athletes, etc.
-Went kayaking (it's kinda one of my favorite things to do here in Florida...no lie)
-Watched a few cheerleading competitions (not gonna lie...it was eerily similar to "Bring It On")
Okay, I think that covers quite a bit. So you basically get the idea. And oh yeah...I worked a bunch because that's what I do. And I'm pretty good at it (even in all my modesty).
Sooo now that you're caught up (don't you feel better? Like more complete? I thought so), let's talk about birthday. I'm not even gonna fib and pretend that it was exactly how I expected it would be...in fact, it was quite a bit different. But, I had some really refreshing, wonderful moments today. This morning I opened my door to find that my friend Ryan (who I shall now refer to as the Birthday Fairy), had left a gift for me on my porch. I got an awesome Buckeyes tank and a Gator toothbrush (yes, 2 team paraphernalia that should not be intermixed...shame shame). I got to spend the day with my beautiful and funny nieces who I don't get to see nearly enough. While I was sitting outside one of the rides waiting for my family, a lady next to me started up a conversation with me and was honestly one of the nicest ladies I've ever met. She was so sweet and so talkative and when I got up to leave wished me all the best. Got a bunch of great bday wishes from friends and family. And finally, my roommate joined us this evening and spent the rest of the night at Epcot with us and now I'm getting ready to watch SNL (which I haven't watched in far too long) with some friends (what's better than ending the day with laughter?!?).
So there you have it. Caught up. It's almost like I never left!! I make no promises, internet, that I won't leave you again for an extended vacation, but I'll bring my A-game and try to commit to you.
Oh, and the best birthday gift I got? Probably the saweeet farmers tan and sunburned lips. It's hott (and hot).
Saturday Night Live time. Bye friends.
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