My latest photo session...

Check out the pictures on facebook.  Click here.  :)

Who I long to be...

Life has been happening around here.  That's the easiest way to describe things.  Just life.  Ups and downs, good things and bad things....my journey continues on.  And it's beautiful, really, I promise you it is.  Amidst the messiness and craziness, it's a beautiful life.

But I've realized this lately...the burden I carry is heavy.
And I think heavier than necessary. 

I mean, I honestly believe that life is not intended to be easy breezy all the time.  A life like that allows no challenges to grow, opportunities to learn, chances to experience worlds outside the bubbles we create for ourselves.

But I do think there's a middle ground.  And I don't think I've gotten there yet.

For this reason...

I carry the burden alone...at least most of the time.  I carry both the worries and the joys alone.
And who should I share those burdens with?
I don't know if it's a matter of sharing...
...rather, maybe giving.

Maybe I should be giving them over to Christ.  And maybe that's not even a maybe.  Rather, a definite biblical truth.

I spend so much energy worrying.  Even about the joys, even when I'm on a mountaintop.  Worrying about when the valleys will come.  And rarely do I turn to Christ.  Rarely do I give it to Him.

Why?
Easy, lack of faith. I don't believe that He'll take care of it the way I want Him to. I don't believe that He'll respond to my needs in the timing I want Him to.  So I foolishly believe that if I worry and fret about things enough, they'll get better.  Ha! Right. Instead, I end up emotionally (and sometimes physically) exhausted. I start to lead a crippled life because I spend so much time worrying about my circumstances that I am often unable to respond to the people around me.  To care for those I love. I'm consumed with my own life that I have no energy to reach out to others.

Fail. Utter fail on my part.

So who do I long to be?

I long to be a woman of faith who turns first and foremost to her Savior.  Who finds comfort knowing that Christ is in complete and utter control of my life.  Who is okay being in the valley and feeling disappointed because I am confident that my Jesus will rescue me.  I long for a faith that is strong enough to trust that each and every moment and experience....the good and most definitely the challenging, are refining me and making me the girl that God has called me to be.

I long to love Jesus more than I love myself. To trust that He is good and perfect and more capable than I could ever even imagine.

I'm desperately praying for that...

PHOTOGRAPHY!

Life's been crazy. Like words cannot explain.  But GOOD!  So good!  I don't feel like I have a single second to breathe, but I'd much rather experience life this way than having too much time on my hands.  I'm trying to cram as much as I can into my days and weekends because I want to do SO MUCH.  So basically, I'm thankful.

All that to say, much of what has been occupying my time as of late is...PHOTOGRAPHY!  If you've read any of my past blogs, you know that I was just starting to get back into it.  Welp, I took a big ole leap...jump...DIVE!  And went all in!  (Because really, do I ever do things just half way?  Nope!).  So essentially, I've started my own business.  Kristi Noelle Photography.  It's still a baby business, but a business nonetheless.  And I. AM. STOKED!  I couldn't think of anything more fun than capturing the memories and moments that are important to others.  My hope is that God will bless this venture and it will one day flourish into a strong business.  But for now, I'm just enjoying what comes my way.

So head on over to my site.  Check it out.  Follow my blog.  Like my page on FB.  And book a session with me!! :)  (And then tell all of your friends to do the same!!).

Life is good.  I am thankful.

Flags

Brooke Fraser's new album, "Flags", was released recently. It's incredible...seriously, incredible. Go buy it and you'll immediately love it. In the meantime, listen to the song "Flags". So much Truth in this song.

Portraits with Carly

So as I continue to learn how to use my camera and take quality pictures, I've been roping friends into letting me do portrait sessions with them. Carly was kind enough to agree. And I'm so thankful for her! She was super patient as I was taking her picture and she was lots of fun! And obviously, she's very photogenic so that made it pretty easy to get some great shots! Anyways, as always, constructive criticism is welcomed. Especially when it comes to lighting...that's my sore spot. I don't have reflectors yet, so I think when I get some of those and learn how to use them it will help with some of the lighting conditions. Any other suggestions on how to help with lighting? I really want my pictures to have a warm feeling to them. Also, I don't want to have to use additional lighting, but I know at some point, I might have to...sooo that's another battle for another day.

These are some of my favorites from the day. Enjoy :)

Hymns

I love hymns. Like words can't describe how much I love them. I think there's something incredibly special about them...a connection to the body of Christ from many years ago. There's a comfort knowing that our ancestors who wrote these stunning lyrics loved, struggled, praised, cried, and went through very similar situations as we did during their walk with Christ. And while I value modern worship music, it often lacks the depth and clarity that hymns have in presenting the picture of the gospel. I especially love movements such as Indelible Grace, Red Mountain Music, Sojourn Music, etc that are writing new music to go with hymn lyrics from long ago.

In any case, we sang "Before the Throne of God Above" at church on Sunday. I don't think any other song paints the beauty of the Gospel as well as this song does. This is my ultimate love story. My long awaited fairytale. My Jesus desperately loves me...he has engraved my name on his hand, not just written, engraved. It's permanent. He claims me. I. AM. HIS.


(disregard the images...some of them are kinda strange)

Because a sinless Savior died, My sinful soul is counted free.

My Photography Endeavor Continues

I'm learning. Slowly. But, I'm learning. I persuaded 2 of my friends into being my model subjects so I could practice taking pictures. I definitely have a lot to learn, but I'm catching on. Anyway, here are some of the pictures I took during our little Sunday afternoon session. Enjoy :)

The City Beautiful!


Fountain at Lake Eola


And another Fountain shot :)


My sweet friend, Angela


Angela's friend, Alanna, who I met for the first time this day. And she was kind enough to put up with me taking her pictures all day!



I need to work on giving direction a bit more, but Alanna still looks very pretty!


These 2 have been friends for a long time. Love that I was able to capture some pics for them :)


Her hair reflected the light so beautifully!


2 gorgeous girls.


And this is my favorite one of the day.

So, once again, please feel free to leave your thoughts, feedback, advice. All are welcome. :)

Paid the FULL price

I was thinking about this tonight...well, let's be honest...I've been thinking about this for a long time in a variety of ways. For a long while I've been trying to make sense of the law and grace. I've lived a life of legalism for so long that it's become a constant, daily discovery to understand what it means to live by Grace.

So, tonight in particular I was thinking about this idea we have as Christians to "do our best." From my personal experiences, it seems as though we (those who call themselves Christians) have forgotten that Jesus paid the FULL price for our sin. I think we get it stuck in our head that we have to do our absolute best and run as far as we can and then Jesus will pick up the baton and finish the race -- like he makes up the difference. But I don't think that's true. I think, rather, the Gospel speaks to Him taking it all. By claiming His name, we've won the race. I no longer have to "perform" for the world. Rather, I can live and love in His name. He's done it already for ALL of His children. He. Paid. The. FULL. Price.

It still doesn't make entire since to me...I doubt it ever will. But I suppose I'm just kind of tired of hearing people say "Yes Grace, but...". There's no "but". Grace. God's Grace. The Cross. Christ's DEATH for OUR SIN. We have been given NEW life. The Gospel is very clear about that. Claim Jesus as your Savior and the deal is done. There are no other conditions. Why do we make it so complicated?

The Return of Fall Baking

I like to bake. But really, I like to bake the most between the months of September and January. So right now I am in my prime. I wanted to bake a birthday cake for some people in my church small group and so I asked my friend if she had any unique cake recipes. She sent me this recipe for Gingerbread cake and it seriously might be my new favorite cake recipe. A-MAZING. And sooooo simple.

The recipe is to make 12 cupcakes but since I wanted a double layered round cake, I had to double the recipe. I also ended up baking it for about 35 minutes, I believe. One major tip is to make sure your pans are floured well. My cakes stuck in my pans some and I had a bit of a disaster with that. Luckily, frosting covers up those flaws :) Finally, I didn't use the cream cheese frosting part of this recipe. It barely had any cream cheese in it and I had another recipe (I believe it's from a Southern Living magazine) that was much easier and way delicious, so I used that.

Anyway, ENJOY.



Gingerbread Cake Recipe from Allrecipes.com:

Ingredients

• 5 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup unsulfured molasses
• 1 egg
• 1 egg yolk
• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon Dutch process cocoa powder
• 1 1/4 teaspoons ground ginger
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 cup hot milk

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Butter or line with paper liners a 12-cup muffin tin.
2. Cream 5 tablespoons of the butter with the white sugar. Add the molasses and the egg and egg yolk.
3. Sift together the flour, cocoa powder, ginger, cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg and salt. Dissolve the baking soda in the hot milk. Add the flour mixture to the creamed mixture and stir until just combined. Stir in the hot milk mixture. Pour the batter evenly into the prepared tin.
4. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 20 minutes or until slightly springy to the touch. Allow to cool a few minutes in the pan and remove to a rack to cool.

Cream Cheese Frosting Recipe (From Southern Living magazine, I believe):

Mix at medium speed two 8-ounce packages of cream cheese (softened), a stick of butter (softened), and a 32 ounce bag of powdered sugar together. Stir in 2 tsp of vanilla.

If it's warm in your house, the frosting can get a little runny (for lack of a more appetizing word), so it may help to refrigerate it for a short amount of time. Especially if you're going to do any type of piping.

I'm exciting to make this recipe again. Definitely a new favorite!!!

It Is Well With My Soul

My roommate shared this video with me tonight. I've sung this song a thousand times. And I've always loved it. But I love it even more now that I know the story behind it. Our God is good and loving in all conditions at all times. Hold tight to faith. Cling to the love of Christ.

Selfishness...short and sweet

This'll be a short post. But this has just been running through my mind. I think as part of our human nature we tend to think that our sin only affects ourselves. I think that's evidence of our selfishness, or rather, or self-centerdness (I think maybe I just made that word up). But the reality is, our sin affects the Body of Christ. It affects others. I've been thinking about this as I've been trying to wrap my mind around suffering such as hunger, homelessness, disease, etc. And the reality is, my sin is partially to blame. My lust for material items, my desire for status, my longing for the "American Dream" often comes before my heart for the poor and oppressed. If I were half as desperate to see them redeemed as I were to buy that new pair of shoes, perhaps things would be different. And I know, I can't take the weight of the world on my own shoulders. But I just think it's important that in this selfishness that we live in that we recognize that even when it comes to the affects of our sin we are selfish. Now more than ever do I see the importance of God's Grace. It covers all. I am thankful.

Seeing the World Through my Camera Lense

I made the plunge. I finally bought a dSLR that I've been wanting for YEARS. I LOVE photography. Like absolutely adore it. I love the stories that photographs tell and I love the memories they capture. I've taken classes in film photography and really love working in the dark room, but it's time to move into the 21st century. So I purchased a Nikon D90 and so far, I. LOVE. IT. I'm obviously still trying to figure things out on it and I have LOTS to learn, but I'm forcing myself to shoot pictures in manual, play with the shutter speed and aperture, and really figure this thing out.

Anyways, here are a few of my first pictures that I'm pretty happy with (except they look a lot darker uploaded to blogger than they look in iPhoto. Hmmm.). Enjoy :) (Oh, and do share tips and thoughts, if you have them!).

Winter Garden, Florida:

Fountain in Winter Garden:

Historic fire truck:

And what's a small town without its liquor store? :)

How Jersey Shores Helped Me Understand the Love of Christ

Yep. That's right. Odd, I know. But let me explain (or at least give it a try).

See, I was watching Jersey Shore for the first time tonight (I had only seen some clips of it on comedy shows and such before). And I was watching it I, of course, was a bit shocked. I'll fully admit that I grew up a sheltered girl from the farmlands of the Midwest, but I've since seen quite a bit of the world. And yet, watching Jersey Shores I was still left with my mouth gaping open as the girls bickered about the dumbest things, the boys hooked up with girls they'd met for the first time just hours before, friends failed to stand up and defend each other, etc.

Anyway, I just kind of brushed it off and went on with my night.

Then, as I was taking a shower (because all good thinking happens while in the shower. Fact.), I started thinking about it again. For a long time I've been questioning what it means to be a Believer and what it means to be loved by Christ. And maybe, just maybe this is part of it (because I know I'll never understand the full of it in this lifetime!!). I've been hurting for a while, thinking to myself that if God really loved me that he would fix everything...not just in my life, but in the lives of all His people. But maybe part of being loved by Christ is being aware. I feel as though the more I grow to know Jesus, the more my heart hurts...but I think the reasons my heart hurts changes. My heart hurts less often because someone was mean to me or I didn't get my way and my heart starts hurting more often for the poor, oppressed, and needy. Maybe that's part of what it means to be loved by Christ. I think less of myself and more about what His heart hurts for.

I'm DEFINITELY NOT saying I have it all figured out or that my heart is selfless all the time (heck, even part of the time). But as I watched Jersey Shore tonight and saw the selfish actions, I realized how unaware they are of world around them. They live in a world of finding gratification for themselves no matter what the cost might be to the people around them. I think as we grow to know and love Christ we become aware of the community and world around us. We begin to think about our actions and how they affect others. It may still make little or no sense, but we see it, we respond to it, we attempt to live out love even though we fail miserably.

It's starting to make sense a little bit. This is why we question...to look for answers.

What's Enough?

I read this post on twitter today: "Good news of Gospel of Christ is not if you follow him everything will go well, good news is you get him & he's enough!" via @prodigaljohn

And here was my succession of thoughts:

1. YES! So true!
2. Wait, what?
3. C'mon, can that be any more vague.
4. Okay, what the heck does it mean to be "enough"?
5. Ugh, I hate abstract things.

Yep, that's basically how it went.

But really, I think that's a valid question. That's all great and good and wonderful to say that we get Christ and He's enough, but what does that mean for him to be enough? Sure I can say in my life that He's enough and He'll never let me go hungry, or thirsty, and He'll provide for all my needs because I'm more valuable than the lily in the valley. Blah blah blah.

But try that on the hungry kid. The orphan in Africa. The woman who has just been raped. Yeah, try that on them.

That's where I keep getting caught up. If God is God and He is enough than why can't He stinkin feed the hungry. Why can't he prevent children from being sold into the sex trade? Why can't he prevent innocent women from being victimized by rape? Why can't he feed the millions of people who go to bed hungry? Why can't he provide clean water for all his people? WHY?

What does it mean for Christ to be enough for those people?

And I get it...our ultimate home is not here, but in heaven. But if that's the case, then why don't we just get to peace out once we become believers and go chill in heaven? Why the suffering here?

Sometimes it just doesn't make sense to me. But you know what...I think I finally know what people meant when they said that going to Africa would change me forever. Not a day goes by now that I don't ask these questions and think of the children I left behind there.

Being a follower of Jesus is anything but easy. The hardest thing I do every day is try to make sense of it all. And I don't mean to be negative...just looking for answers. If anyone's got them, I'm ready to hear 'em.

Some days there are tears...

My Monday came with a lot of tears. As I sit here typing this on the verge of tears again, I'm surprised that I have any left to cry. I've been in prayer today constantly yelling at God to FRIEKING SHOW UP already. I know, I know. He's here. But the immature believer in me wants some stinking evidence.

Okay let me rehash my day.

It started like this. I walked outside to go to work, looked down, and saw that my front tire was nearly flat. I decided I could drive the approximately 3 miles to the shop on it and have them take a look. I got there and the guy tells me that the tire is not salvageable and will need replaced. Lovely. So I leave my car there and walk to work. As I'm texting my dad while walking to work he tells me that I need to replace 2 tires then for alignment purposes. Awesome. So about 3 hours later the shop calls me and tells me all 4 tires need replaced because they're dry rotted. Wonderful. Bye, bye $500.

I know, I know. It's not that big of a deal.

But you know what? It is. Why? Because it was the topper on the crap I feel like I've been buried under and working through the past several months.

And as I tried my hardest to pray through it today, all I kept coming back to is WHERE ARE YOU GOD? If this is the picture of the Gospel that I'm supposed to be sharing with others, it kinda sucks.

I felt like today was another damper on me trying to open doors to my dreams. I had gone to look at dSLR cameras this weekend and started to price them out and got excited about pursuing that and then out of the no where, I have to spend money that I was saving for that on my car.

It's just frustrating. And it just led me to start question everything.

It's like, c'mon God, can you cut me a break on this one?

I guess I just find myself caught between what I know is True and what Satan tries to trick me into thinking. I know that the reality is that God IS present. He HAS shown up and he will KEEP showing up. But I don't know what that looks like. At least not all the time. And definitely not during times like this when I feel like I'm struggling to keep afloat.

I know the trick that Satan is playing on me is to question what I've done wrong to deserve this crap to deal with. I find myself asking "Is this what life is supposed to be? Should I just accept it and move forward living a nominal existence?" So really, I guess that's a double trick. Because 1) I haven't done anything wrong to deserve THIS...or rather, I've done everything wrong and I don't deserve ANYTHING. But God in His abundant love is saving me constantly from more than I can imagine (I'll be honest, even as I type this I'm struggling to see what God's love looks like). And 2) Satan's trying to trick me into settling. To giving up on what I feel called to. To living a nominal, mediocre existence.

I see people with the lives that I want and I find myself thinking "They must be more faithful than I am. God has rewarded them because they read their Bible every day, tithe, volunteer, pray constantly, etc." And then I feel this sudden urge to stop everything I'm doing and simultaneously read my Bible, pray, and help the needy all at once in an effort to become more holy and therefore earn God's favor and then He will give me my heart's desires.

So you can see where the tears come in...I think they're more tears of frustration because I know that junk isn't true. I can't earn God's favor. But then I'm frustrated because I'm left here wondering how much longer I'll have to struggle through this pain and confusion that I feel. How much longer will I have to live with this strong discontentment?

Nothing seems fair. Here, Lord, am I trying to be your good and faithful servant asking not for money, fame or riches, but for a life full of meaning and purpose and I feel like you're withholding those things from me. Aren't those good and holy things to long for? So why do they feel like they are being withheld? And then I see non-believers, cheats, liars living it up, going on luxurious vacations, living in huge mansions, buying expensive clothes and cars. Come on God! Why don't you put them in their place? (Hello, Judgmental Kristi)

I want it to make sense. I want it to be fair. I want justice. I want the homeless family to be clothed and fed. I want the orphans to have a family. I want the sick to be healthy. I want the thirsty to never have to thirst again (in the most literal sense...I want them to have water).

Why does it all seem so frieking unfair? This is when I find myself shouting, yelling at God: FRIEKING SHOW UP already. In my life. In their life. In your children's lives.

And all that I keep coming back to tonight as I yell and scream and cry is gratitude. Thankful that my Father is okay with me throwing this tantrum. Thankful that as day in and day out I try to make sense of this sinful world that I'm living in, He's okay that I get mad and I get angry and I get upset.

Yeah, I'm still frustrated. And as I type this, tears are pouring out and my heart is even more confused than when I started. But I have faith that God is sitting here with me amidst my sin, loving me in ways that I don't understand or comprehend, as I try to figure it all out.

Love this song

Gosh. I love music. I love country music. I love the story it tells. And I love the purity of this song. It is sad, but I still love it. Take a watch. I bet you won't be able to listen to it just once.

New Life Goals

Every time I read someone's blog that talks about how they're really organized and utilize every moment of their day productively and how they save money by cutting coupons and searching for good deals and planning their meals every day and how amidst all that they've ran 5 marathons, found a cure for some rare disease, fed thousands of poor children, handmade their own clothing, started their own business, and planned their wedding plus their 5 best friends with no help, I start criticizing each and everything about myself.

And I have to stop.

And remind myself that even amidst their seemingly perfect, hero-like lives, there is sin.
I have to remind myself that no one is perfect.
I have to remind myself that they're dealing with their own crap somewhere in their lives.

And so my new goal is this:

To not measure myself against others.
To take pleasure in who God has designed me to be.
To recognize that my God made me restless for a reason.
To be the best person that God has made me to be, not the person that he made someone else to be.

And maybe someday I'll find some sort of crazy joy that others find in keeping calendars and schedules, and spreadsheets.

But for now...I'm me. I live in chaos. I flutter like a butterfly. I'm hard to tame and hard to tie down.

But that's who I am.

Sometimes it's just hard

I'm in a place of mixed emotions right now. There are so many things I have to be thankful for right now and I can consciously count my blessings and give praise to God for all that he's given me.

But there's a part of me that feels like this Faith thing is really, really hard lately.
My brain gets it.
Mostly.
I mean, I grew up knowing it.
I get that part.

But then there's the part of my brain and my heart that doesn't get it. It's like I want to go back to the innocent childlike faith that I had before I started asking questions and seeking answers.

That life was easy.

The rules were to follow God's commandments, be a good little girl, and Jesus would love me. But I suppose the reality of that childlike faith that I had was that it wasn't the true Gospel.

The faith I had as a child and honestly, even all the way through high school, and most of college was a faith that was dependent on what I did.
It was dependent on my good behavior,
on my church involvement,
on my volunteer activities,
on my obedience to my parents and my teachers and all elders, etc.

As I write this I see how harsh that sounds, but the reality is that it was simple. Everything was very black and white.
Sure, I was failing...but in comparison to most of the world, I wasn't failing that bad.
I listened to my parents most of the time,
I got good grades,
I never drank,
I never swore,
I was nice to people,
I never got in any major trouble.
You get the idea.

But the reality is, whether I wanted to admit it then or even admit it now, I was still failing.
I told white lies,
I was sinful when I could hide it and get away with it,
I cut corners on occasion to get good grades,
I fought with my parents and disrespected them a lot,
I was nice to people's faces but would talk crap behind their backs.
Once again, you get the idea.

And then one day - I can't pinpoint the date, unfortunately - I realized that what I had always assumed to be the Gospel wasn't true at all.
What I had always assumed it took to be saved was these "values" that I had.
Be a good girl.
That would save me.
And that would save my friends and classmates, too.
If they would just quit getting trashed and stop cussing, then they'd be a real Christian. Obviously.

But how very, very misled I was.
It didn't matter how good I was, I would never, ever, ever be good enough to deserve salvation on my own. My good deeds and good reputation where not even on the radar of being close to earning me salvation. I heard the True Gospel: Christ's death on the cross has earned me salvation. Nothing I have done or could ever do will ensure me a place in Heaven. My only assurance is that Christ took my place. His inheritance is my reward. And what I really deserve, death, is what he took in my place.

And maybe that's why I'm struggling...and maybe I'll struggle my whole life.

Because it seems so simple...
really, it does...
but then it also seems so hard.
If it's not black and white anymore, what is it?
What's it look like to be a believer?

And you know what's worse? Sometimes I find myself still living in that world of black and white even though I know it's wrong. Or criticizing those believers that live in that world of black and white--like that's any better!

I crave rules...I want rules...I don't know how to handle this whole Free Grace and Free Love thing.
I didn't do anything...why do I get it?!?
Nothing is free. That doesn't make sense in this world I live in.
It's like I'm shouting to God "Okay, what's the catch, mister. What do you want of me? This can't be free. There's no way you just wipe my sin away. Don't believe it. I bet you're holding a secret grudge. You're keeping tally of my sin, aren't you? You're going to bring it back up someday, aren't you?"

I have so much trouble believing that really truly and honestly IT'S FREE.
God's Grace is Free.
I don't have to do anything...I just have to believe it and accept it.

So now I'm back to this gray area.

And that only touches the surface.

All I know is that I've lived for 25 years knowing how to "look" Christian and I'm just kind of over it. Saying the right words and doing the right things ultimately doesn't really matter. The one thing that is still very, very clear to me is that Christ has called his followers to love as He first loved us.

So as I try to figure out the rest of this crazy mess in my heart and in my head, I'm going to start with that.

I'll continue to love....
but not with these boundaries that I set up (i.e. to love only those who act like me and follow the same "rules" as me and have the same "values" as me).
I'll love with reckless abandonment...
trusting the Lord to lead my ways.

Welcome to the messy parts of my heart.

What Matters More

So I've kind of gotten out of the habit of blogging, not because I don't have things on my mind, but because I have SO MUCH on my mind that I don't know where to start. And I don't feel like I have the words to express.

Anyway, I'm back. For today at least. And I'm loving this song by Derek Webb. I'm a huge fan. He calls it like he sees it. He's blunt. There's issues in the Christian Church that aren't being addressed, but he's addressing them...or at least bringing attention to them. Controversial? Definitely. But I'm learning that real faith is something that we have to wrestle with. We should constantly be questioning ourselves, our beliefs, our actions, our words. We have to in order to grow.

With all that said, listen to this song. It's from his album that came out last year, I believe. Yes, the lyrics are explicit. I'm okay with that. And yes, the issue is a touchy one. I'm okay with that, too. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on it. What are your thoughts on the topic? Let's dialogue. :)

What Matters More, by Derek Webb

You say you always treat people like you like to be
I guess you love being hated for your sexuality
You love when people put words in your mouth
'Bout what you believe, make you sound like a freak

'Cause if you really believe what you say you believe
You wouldn't be so damn reckless with the words you speak
Wouldn't silently consent when the liars speak
Denyin' all the dyin' of the remedy

Tell me, brother, what matters more to you?
Tell me, sister, what matters more to you?

If I can tell what's in your heart by what comes out of your mouth
Then it sure looks to me like being straight is all it's about
It looks like being hated for all the wrong things
Like chasin' the wind while the pendulum swings

'Cause we can talk and debate until we're blue in the face
About the language and tradition that he's comin' to save
Meanwhile we sit just like we don't give a shit
About 50,000 people who are dyin' today

Tell me, brother, what matters more to you?
Tell me, sister, what matters more to you?

Mind Ramblings...

I have lots of random thoughts. Often. So today's post is a glimpse into my mind and the ramblings that hang out in there. Enjoy.

• I love going to the library. I like roaming around and judging books by their covers. And I like free movies and free music.
  
• I have 2 locations here in town where I feel like I can sit quietly (or on the phone with a best friend) where I feel almost entirely at peace and calm. I'm tempted to list them, but I'd like to keep them my little secret.
• I have a horrible time remembering names that go with faces. I met a girl on Friday at work and talked with her for over an hour in my office about a job opening in our department that she's interested in. She stopped by my office again today just to say hi and for a good 30 seconds I had absolutely no idea who she was.
  
• I've been having incredible weird dreams lately. Including: being rescued from vampires by a cute guy from the gym, having a tarantula chase me around and being scared out of my mind, being trapped on Shutter Island (like the movie), being in the musical Grease at my high school but refusing to go to any practices, prophesying the end of the world which included me singing the Beatles "Imagine" at a high school talent show. See, weird.
• Either this summer in Florida is not as bad as the past 3 or I'm just getting used to them.
  
• My car said it was 90 degrees outside tonight when I was driving home and I remember thinking to myself "yay! the weather is cooling down!" uh what? Since when is 90 degrees cool? I suppose I was just thankful it wasn't 100 degrees.
• I've discovered how I like coffee. And I've discovered I actually like it quiet a bit. I like it Ethiopian style -- with lots of milk (not creamer...and skim milk at that) and just a tad bit of sugar/sweetener.

Wow, I'm drawing a blank on everything else. I mean, my mind literally races a 100 miles a minute all day long with random thoughts, longings of my heart, questions, wonders, dreams, etc. But right now all I can think of is that I'm ready to lay my head down and go to sleep. So I'm going to indulge in that now.

Also, please remember to vote for Cure JM on the Pepsi Refresh grants. Check out my post a couple down to learn more. Or just click on over and vote because that'd be the awesomest thing you could do. http://www.refresheverything.com/makejmamemory

Breast Ironing of Young Girls in Cameroon

It doesn't matter how much I read or witness about the conditions in Africa, I'm always startled anew when I read yet another article or watch yet another video of injustice. This time it's in Cameroon in West Africa. There, one out of four girls experiences breast ironing because their parents believe that it'll prevent them from being sexually desirable and therefore prevent their teenage daughter from getting pregnant. As the video explains, teenage pregnancy is a major issue in Cameroon and the government there is failing to recognize that as well as breast ironing that is being done. What's needed is sexual education classes as well as punishment for the men who are taking advantage of unwilling teenage girls for their own sexual pleasure. But instead, these girls suffer because the root of the problem is failing to be identified and treated.

Watch the video...but I also warn you that there is nudity involved.

Juvenile Dermatomyositis - You can help!

When I lived in Columbus I attended Grace Central Church in the Victorian Village area of downtown Columbus. God provided me with great community and teachings that were the start of my understanding what the Gospel really meant. My pastor there, Greg, was a man of character who spoke constantly spoke words of wisdom into my life through his sermons. I also served on the worship team there on occasion and had the privilege of singing with Greg's wife, Charity. I'm telling you all of this to tell you about their son, Sam. You see, Sam has an illness called Juvenile Dermatomyositis (JDM). Sam is a super cool kid. I remember Greg telling stories about Sam in his sermon on occasion. While I no longer live in Columbus, I keep in touch with people from Grace Central through facebook, blogs, email, etc. (all the typical 21st century communications) and have come to learn that Sam is a very intelligent kid who LOVES Star Wars. That all seems normal except with JDM Sam lives a life of pain and fatigue. He has to go to the doctor on a weekly basis to get an IV. I'm pretty sure that's not the way life should be for a kid. When Sam goes outside to play he has to take more precautions than most kids. The sun can make his condition even worse so he wears long sleeves and pants and a hat. Can you imagine how that can be rough in summer?

So why am I telling you all of this? Well for a couple of reasons. First, I hope that you will be praying for Sam (and all kids with JDM) to be healed. I remember my childhood as one filled with worry-free joy. Shouldn't all kids have that experience? Second, and most importantly, you can help in a tangible way. Cure JM, an organization that is dedicated to finding a cure for JM is up for a Pepsi Refresh grant. Currently the are in 12th place but by the end of July (such a short time away!!) they need to be number 2 in order to get the grant. All you have to do is log in and vote. That's it. It's simple. I've voted every day for a couple of weeks and I can tell you that you don't have to worry about Pepsi sending you spam email. So log in on your email, your parents, your siblings, WHOEVER. Vote, please, for this precious kid and for all the kids out there living with JDM. With a few clicks you can change lives. No money required from you.

So here's the link: http://www.refresheverything.com/makejmamemory. Remember you must LOG IN first before you vote. And you can log in with multiple email addresses. Also, you can vote once a day. So please continue to log in and vote. Tell your friends and family. IT'S EASY. And then browse around and vote for other ideas you support (just don't vote for any other in the $250k category). With just a click you're changing lives.

And check out the video I made of pics of Sam I got from his mom, Charity. Isn't he one of the cutest kids EVER?!? Seriously. And I think after dealing with this disease and keeping that super cute smile on his face his DEFINITELY a Supehero!! So vote. Now. Do it for him. Please. And as you do it, please pray that he'll be healed. Thanks friends!!

Sam the Superhero!! from Kristi Kratzer on Vimeo.

Knowing His Strength

When I listen to music, I usually become obsessive about a song or an album until I listen to it so much that I wear it out. I've gotten to that point with an album that was just released last week. Everyone should drop everything they're doing (okay...finish reading my blog post, first) and go download Audrey Assad's album "The House You're Building". Seriously, this might be one of the best albums I've listened to in the past few years. Her lyrics are incredibly insightful and pull at the strings of the heart. And her voice is amazing. Go to itunes now and buy it.

Anyway, she has a song on the album called "Run Forward" that I listen to multiple times a day. And there's a line in it, in particular, that I've really been thinking about over the past few days. It keeps coming back to me. She sings "You made me afraid, thank you. I've gotta thank you. Because now I know His strength." And the more I've meditated on that the more I've come to realize how true it is in my life. So often I find myself dwelling on the bad things in life, on the hard moments, on the things that make me sad, frustrated, confused, afraid. But as I stop to think about it I realize how far God has brought me from those things. How in absolutely every instance He has shown His presence (not always in ways I've expected) and made Himself known.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 it says:

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

We experience the power of Christ in our weakness. When we are strong we find ourselves relying on Him less and less. So as I reflect over the past 7 months of this year so far, I'm thankful for the hardships that have been tossed my way. I'm thankful that I have witnessed the power of Christ working in my own life. I've witnessed His healing grace, His neverending love. And of course, I'm also thankful for all the good times in life...they are all the more sweeter as I see now that they are a gift from my savior.

Anyway, listen to the song. And of course, buy the album.

Sharing the table

I've been reading "The Ragamuffin Gospel" (although admittedly not very regularly), and as I've expected along the way, it's pouring Truth into my life. It's hard Truth, but refreshing Truth. Anyway, tonight when I was reading I found something that really resonated with me. Brennan Manning began to explain how meaningful it was that Jesus sat down to dinner with people--with sinners--with the lowly. Not only did he sit down to dinner with the lowliest of the low, but he invited them to dinner. This wasn't just a simple act of kindness, this was a special invitation. He explains that in first-century Palestinian Judaism it was illegal to associate with people in different social classes meaning that dinner was definitely out of the question. Christ shook the very foundation -- the law -- that society at that time was built on.

Manning goes on to share this:

In the Near East, to share a meal with someone is a guarantee of peace, trust, fraternity, and forgiveness--the shared table symbolizes a shared life. An Orthodox Jew's saying "I would like to have dinner with you" is a metaphor that imples, "I would like to enter into friendship with you." Even today an American Jew will share a doughnut and a cup of coffee with you, but to extend a dinner invitation is to say, "Come to my mikdash me-at, the miniature sanctuary of my dining room table, where we will celebrate the most sacred and beautiful experience that life affords--friendship." That is what Zacchaeus heard when Jesus called him down from the sycamore tree, and that is why Jesus' practice of table fellowship caused hostile comment from the outset of His ministry.

For some reason, I just really love this picture. Like that's what it really means to feast at the table of Christ. To share in communion with fellow believers. To break bread together in community. To share life together.

One of my absolute favorite things in the entire world is conversation with a friend while enjoying a good meal. And now I think I understand a little bit why that's always been such a comfort to my soul and something I look forward to. I think it's because that's what Christ intended community to be. To invite people into every aspect of our lives.

But as I type this I'm convicted of who I bring to my table. Yes, I bring my friends, my brothers and sisters in Christ, to my table. And I believe that's good. We need community. We need those special bonds and relationships. But the thing is, Christ didn't just invite the disciples and his family to share the table with him. He invited the lowliest of the low to his table. Am I putting up a wall around my table? How can I let others in...not just to have dinner with me, but to have a relationship with me? How do I have community with the marginalized? And not just charity/pity relationship, but real and honest community? How do I love the way Christ loved?

Nashville...Oh how I love thee.

I spent the Independence Day Weekend with one of my favorite people in Nashville, TN--my friend Sarah! Sarah and I met in December when we traveled to Africa together on a Mocha Club Trip. I'm so thankful for the friendship that God has given me. I've been truly blessed. The long weekend was so wonderful. We did a lot of fun stuff throughout the weekend (including eating a TON of delicious food!!), but the best parts of the weekend were just good conversation.

So here's the recap of our fun weekend. And yes, I did fall in love with Nashville while I was there. Such a fabulous city.

Thursday Night:

I arrived in Nashville at 9:30 and we headed straight to the movies to see Eclipse. You see, I was adamantly against all things Twilight related until Sarah came to visit me in April. We spent 2 of the nights during her visit watching the Twilight movies. After that, I was hooked. And it worked out perfectly that I was going to visit Sarah just days after Eclipse came out in theaters. So, loaded down with Sour Patch Kids, Fruit Gems, Reeses Pieces, Popcorn, and Diet Coke, we hit the theater. It was great!

Friday:

Sarah had to nanny in the morning so I tagged along. It was great having coffee and conversation and catching up on life. I really think that every Friday morning (heck, every morning, in general!) should start with conversation and coffee with a best friend. For lunch we headed to a place called Barbara's Home Cookin' in Franklin. Seriously, this place was amazing. The homemade rolls were delicious. The sweet tea was AMAZING. And the food was so, so, so good! Barbara's is the most unassuming place ever. It's a little house alongside the road, but dang is it good!


Next, we went grocery shopping because Sarah (Langiappe Personal Catering...check it out, good stuff!!!) had a catering job that weekend for a church. After that, a much needed nap was in order. And then we hit the town. We ate dinner at a place called The Local Taco. It was delicious. Seriously, so good! Then we drove around Nashville for a bit when I spotted...LIGHTENING BUGS!! So of course, I made Sarah stop so I could try to catch some. We stopped at a really cute park in Nashville and I took these fun pictures. And then we met up with one of Sarah's friends and hung out in Nashville.



















Saturday:

We ran to Alan Jackson's house. Yep, that's right. Alan Jackson lives 2 miles from Sarah so we went for a morning run and ran to his house and back. And let me just say that Franklin, TN is so incredibly beautiful. And the weather during our run was so wonderful. Then we cleaned up and headed to downtown Franklin for brunch and shopping. We ate at Meridee's Bread Basket which once again was delicious. Then we went to lots of fun shops in Franklin. (Apparently T.Swift was there 2 days after we were. Darn it.). Pictures of Downtown Franklin and bricks in the sidewalk from the Judds. Cool!















Then we headed to the church to do the baking and prepping for their event that they were having on Sunday. It was so much fun working with Sarah. She's an amazing culinary artist. Seriously. In the time it took me to make my cookie recipe, she had made her cookies, cut up all the fruit, put nuts and mints in bowls, made punch, made a cheese ball, plated the cheese ball and cheese cubes, and cleaned up. She's pretty much awesome at what she does. So if you need a caterer for an event or just want a nice home-cooked dinner sometime, check out her website, www.lagniappepersonalcatering.com. Here are some quick pics I took of our finished product. Sorry, they aren't great pics...I took them while we were rushing out the door.

The spread:

Strawberry Shortcake Cookies (major YUM!!):

Peaches 'n Cream Cookies:

And more of the spread. Check out those fruit baskets that Sarah made!! So cool. Oh, and those cheese balls were pineapple cheese balls. Your mouth is watering, right?:


And this is a picture of the cross outside the church. I just couldn't resist because it was so beautiful!!
Saturday night Sarah's parents made dinner and it was DELISH! Then we put our boots on (well, I did!) and headed out with Sarah's sister Claire and her friend Hannah for some line dancing at Wildhorse Saloon. So. Much. Fun. And Sarah and I stopped at Paradise Park for a short bit, too. It's a bar themed after a Trailer Park. Awesome. Ha!

Claire, Hannah, Sarah, and me at Wildhorse:

Yes! It is definitely Nashvegas! Table at Paradise Park:
Sarah and I at Paradise Park:

Why thanks Nashville, I'm glad I'm here too!

Sunday morning we got up bright and early to run a 10k in downtown Nashville. SO MUCH FUN!! I got to take fun pictures of Nashville and Sarah ran her very first 10k ever! She did GREAT! It's so much more fun to run with friends than by myself. Pics from our race:

Getting ready to run:
Sarah's a bit nervous:
Downtown Nashville. Beautiful:
After the race. Yay we did it!!

Then we slept. A lot. Which is what Sunday afternoons are meant for anyway! And then we headed downtown for the 4th of July festivities. We were planning to watch the free Trace Adkins concert, but it was so crowded that we ended up leaving and going to eat dinner at SATCO (San Antonio Taco Company) which we both believe was a good decision.

Picture of me with a cool guitar downtown Nashville. Yes, sometimes I act like a tourist. And pics of SATCO. Yum. Seriously, yum.



















Then when we were leaving SATCO, Sarah got a hold of my camera. And things got a little crazy...hahahaha. Love these pictures.

And then Monday we ate a delicious breakfast at Pancake Pantry which is a MUST if you visit Nashville. And did some shopping around Hillsboro Village. We went shopping at Pangea which is officially my new favorite store, plus a bunch of other cool shops.

We grabbed a quick bite to eat (yes, I told you we ate A LOT) at Bread & Company before heading back downtown to meet up with a group of people who collectively make up People Loving Nashville. Every Monday night, they gather together to cook dinner and serve it to the homeless community of Nashville. I'm not going to lie, this was by far my favorite part of the entire weekend. It was so great to be part of the greater good, to see God's hand at work in the community, and to love our brothers and sisters in Christ. I really believe this is what Christ has called of us...to love and serve others in need without passing judgment or condemnation on them. I really really really hope to have the opportunity to serve with them again and to love the people of Nashville again.

I couldn't have asked for a better weekend. God is good and I am so blessed...even when times are hard...I know I'm blessed, loved, claimed.

One last picture of me and my best friend! Thanks Sarah for a great weekend!

Oh, and be sure to check out Volunteer Traditions and Suineg Consulting. Both are great Nashville companies that I give a thumbs up to.

So. Stinking. Funny.

This video makes me laugh so so hard. Like seriously, so funny. And awkward. And hilarious. Good gracious, I love laughing.

Enjoy.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Nashville!!!

I'm leaving in 7 hours to go see one of my bestest friends!! I couldn't be more excited!!!

Be prepared for entertaining stories!

Oh yeah, have I mentioned we met in Africa? No big deal :)

Rich Young Ruler

Listened to this song a couple of times...it's convicting. Stuff that I'm dealing with right now. How do I make my ideal of life collide with what I feel God calling in my heart? How do I live in this world but not be of this world? How do I have authentic compassion for people...to not volunteer, go to church, do missions, etc. because I want people to think well of me? How do I truly love Jesus with all that I am and trust Him with everything I am and have faith that endures?

Fireflies

Fireflies. To me, they're a sign of childhood. I remember running around my backyard with my sisters and catching fireflies in our hands and then peaking through our fingers to see them lighting up in our hands. We would keep a few in jars and put a few blades of grass and a stick or two in the jar with them because surely if they had grass they would live and be just fine. Then the next morning we would wake up to find them all barely crawling around on the bottom of the jar. Who knew that lightening bugs needed oxygen, too?

Anyway, I was thinking about that when talking to someone recently when I realized that I hadn't seen any fireflies in Florida since I moved here 3 years ago. In Ohio it's a sign of summertime. I'd look in the backyard and see it light up with specks of green. But here in Florida, they are hard to come by.

I've become somewhat fixated on this bit of knowledge recently. For some reason it kind of bothered me. Fireflies/lightening bugs are such a simple thing, but suddenly I missed them. A lot. And perhaps it was because I was becoming nostalgic for my childhood, nostalgic for simpler days filled with big dreams of what the future holds.

Then the other night I talked my roommate into going to the playground to swing on the swings with me. It was somewhat of an assignment, you could say...to experience childhood for a moment. What better place than a playground? On top of that, my roommate convinced me to ride the tandem bike she has. I hate the tandem bike. I don't know why, but I just hate it. I refuse to ride it. But since the night's goal was to act like a child, I gave in. We rode to the playground laughing. Swung on the swings, played on the climbing toys, and zip lined. I did, for a moment, feel childlike again. I felt relaxed. I felt at ease. I felt like I could dream again.

After we returned home I was sitting at my desk working on a project. My desk sits in front of my window and the sun had already set so it was dark outside. I looked up for a moment from my computer and spotted something green glowing through my window. I looked closer and saw that on the screen outside my window was a lightening bug. He flickered a bit and I tried to grab my camera, but he flew away. But in that simple thing of a single lightening bug I felt renewed hope. I felt a renewed promise that God's hand is still over my life just as it always has been. I felt that it was okay to dream freely again.

Africa - A Recap - 5 Months Late

Mocha Club Ethiopia Trip: December 2009-January 2010 from Kristi Kratzer on Vimeo.

Salem Friends!

It's been 5 months since I returned from Africa. I can hardly believe it. Seems like just yesterday I was scrambling to get ready to leave while trying to fit in the typical craziness that comes with the Holiday season. A day hasn't gone by that I haven't thought about my time in Africa and the people I met there. I wanted to write sooner, but it just felt like I wasn't done experiencing the trip--even though I've been back for several months. I'm not quite sure if I ever will be done learning from my time spent there. It may have only been 2 weeks, but it was life-changing. The trip was nothing like what I expected it would be. And to be honest, for a while I was disappointed by that. But the more I reflect on the trip, the more I realize how much God is using that experience (along with so many others in my life) to teach me and mold me.

I think I went to Africa with these expectations that fit into this neat little box. I expected God to show me what "need" was. I expected to fall in love with Ethiopia and never want to leave. I expected my purpose to be revealed. But none of that happened. Rather, as I look back now, I see that what God showed me was so much better.

He showed me that His love is not defined by culture, race, or country. Worship in Ethiopia looks drastically different than it does in the United States. But the reality is that Christ came and died for the sins of all mankind -- not just 21st Century Americans. Christianity is not defined by the latest worship song on the radio or the latest inspirational book at the bookstore. It's defined by the free Grace given to us all by a Savior willing to take on the sin of man so that we could reap the reward we don't deserve.

He showed me that we all have "need" and that it looks different for all of us. I saw need when I was in Ethiopia. It's true. My heart broke as I saw the conditions that people were living in. It ashamed and embarrassed me to admit to all the material possessions that I own. I'd seen slums in movies before (Such as "Slumdog Millionaire"...if you haven't seen it...go, go, go and rent it!!), but always just saw those as made-for-movies type places. But they're not. They're real. And the people living in those places are real, too. They're people just like you and me. People that need clean water and food and a roof to protect them from the elements. And it's not just a handful of people. It's an entire nation devastated by poverty. At the same time, God showed me that there is need in the US, too. The need here looks a whole lot different, though. Although the Ethiopians had physical needs, I had never met people more alive in the Spirit than many of the Ethiopians we met. Many of them don't know where their next meal will come from or how they will pay bills, so it is truly an act of faith to trust in God to provide. They give selflessly trusting that the Lord will provide for their needs. But in the United States we are so used to being able to provide for ourselves. Sometimes we get to a point where we find ourselves thinking "What do I need God for? I can do this on my own." The need in the States is certainly more spiritual than physical. More than ever, I felt God tugging on my heart calling me to share his Love to my neighbors right here in the US. There's need all over the world--we just have to respond.

Finally, He showed me that I can have a heart for Africa and a heart for Stateside missions at the same time. While I was in Africa and even several weeks and months following, I felt so conflicted because I thought falling in love with Africa meant that I wouldn't want to leave. I certainly still felt called there in many ways and felt the desire to give, but I looked forward to returning to the United States. In fact, while I was there I felt even more convicted of my calling to serve Christ here in the States. But recently, while having some very good discussions with close friends, I've realized something. A heart for Africa doesn't mean I have to move there. It doesn't mean that I have to feel called to full time missions. There is so much I can do here that will affect the lives of people there. To begin with, I can give financially. And you can too. There are so many great organizations changing lives in Africa (and around the world). Start small. Give just $7 a month with the Mocha Club. You'll barely notice the money is gone. I can also pray. So often I fail to believe that God answers prayers, but he does. My heart longs for redemption for all people because I know that it is God's ultimate plan. He desires to see his Kingdom made whole and His people restored. As much as my heart aches when I see need, I know that my Savior's hurts even more. We live in a broken world, that will one day be made whole. Finally, I've felt a call to return to Africa. I'm not sure when and I'm not sure the details, but I know that God will reveal it to me all in His timing.

I'm so thankful for all of the support that was given to me. Whether you were able to support me with your prayers, finances, or with supplies our team needed, it all made a difference. I'm so blessed to call you all friends and hope that in some way, my story will impact you and your life.

Memories and Stories from my trip

I have so many memories that I’m fond of from the trip and I thought I’d share with you some of my favorites and those that have left the biggest impression on my heart.

• The first day we went to an orphanage for children with HIV/AIDS called Little A Hope. On our way there, our group leader reminded us that we can’t contract HIV/AIDS just by playing with the kids and to remember to love these kids with all that we have. I remember thinking to myself, “sure that’ll be no problem.” But when we walked into Little A Hope there were some kids who had sores on their arms and faces because their immune systems were low and at that point I remember thinking “okay God, I’ll love all the kids and play with all of the kids except for those ones.” Well, God was certainly working on my heart during our short time there because by the end, I was laughing and playing with all of the kids and loving every second of it. The same kids that I told God that I wouldn’t play with were the ones that spent at least 30 minutes trying to teach me Amharic (The language spoken in Ethiopia.). They would point to different body parts and tell me the Amharic word for it and then quiz me. They would giggle nonstop when I would get the words wrong. Then they’d show off their English for me. They counted to 100 in English and would have kept going had I not stopped them. It was a great start to the trip. (We weren’t allowed to take any pictures here so unfortunately I don’t have any pictures of these amazing kids).

• On that same day we visited an orphanage called Hannah’s Hope. The moment we walked into Hannah’s, a little girl walked up to us with a little pink flower and insisted we all smell it. This little girl melted my heart. She was so lovingly and absolutely beautiful. We returned to Hannah’s Hope on our last day and when we walked through the door, the same little girl ran up to me and I picked her up. We sat down to watch the Christmas presentation the kids at Hannah’s Hope had prepared and the little girl fell right asleep in my lap for at least an hour. I wanted desperately to take her home with me...I’ll honestly never forget her beautiful face.

• We spent 3 days in Nazaret, Ethiopia with an organization called Women at Risk. The organization provides former prostitutes with holistic rehabilitation including job skills so at the end of their time at W.A.R. they’ll be able to work respectable jobs in the community to provide for themselves and their families. It was amazing to hear the stories of some of the women at W.A.R. and to see how God is working in their lives and redeeming them. On our first full day there we gave the women a spa day. We decided that since they have spent much of their lives (many of them entered the prostitution trade as young as 10 years old) being mistreated and abused, we wanted to shower them with love. We gave them facials, pedicures, and manicures. It was so humbling to be able to serve these women in such a simple way and to see the gratitude that they had.

• One of the other things that I really enjoyed about our time at Women At Risk was the adorable children (if it isn’t already apparent, I love kids!!). Women who have gone through the program in the past often come back just to hang out at the compound and they bring their children. One day I walked outside and saw a couple boys playing soccer in the courtyard and really just enjoyed kicking the ball around with them. And, of course, all of the children there were so incredibly adorable and precious. Such beautiful faces.

• On our last day at Women At Risk they held a special coffee ceremony for us. One of Ethiopia’s main crops is coffee. Let me just say that I typically despise coffee and I drank it quite a bit while in Ethiopia because it was SO GOOD! At the ceremony they roasted the coffee beans (which are green before they are roasted! Who would have thought?) over a fire and then they are crushed and then made into coffee (or something along those lines...). In any case, the women held this ceremony for us to show their gratitude for us and our time spent there.

• The countryside of Ethiopia was absolutely stunning. In my mind I always had this thought that Africa was just a big, barren desert. Not the case in Ethiopia. Ethiopia is rolling hills and amazing views. The pictures don’t do it justice, but hopefully it’ll give you a glimpse of the beauty that is Ethiopia.

• We spent the second part of our trip in Ambo, Ethiopia at a Compassion International school. The students there are sponsored by individuals who “adopt” children through Compassion International. We spent time doing crafts and activities with them, teaching them English, and sharing the Gospel with them. These kids were so adorable and of course I had my favorites. I worked mostly with the younger kids (probably first grade age) and they were so sweet. They were a bit timid on the first day but quickly opened up and showed their spunky personalities.

• Jumping rope was probably my favorite activity with the kids in Ambo. They would get so into it and it was something that we could all laugh about and enjoy without having to worry about language barriers.

• While we were in Ambo, we spent time with the orphaned Street Boy population. The few days that we spent with the Street Boys were so rewarding. On the first day we washed their feet. This was such an incredibly humbling experience for me. These boys walk everywhere on dusty, dirty streets and most of them just wear ragged old flip flops. They aren’t used to people serving them, rather most of them work polishing shoes so they are constantly serving others. Many of them were embarrassed at first and wouldn’t let us wash their feet, but slowly they gave in and allowed us to love on them. We shared the story of Jesus washing the disciples feet and it was so great to bring the story to life for them. We also spent some time teaching them English, doing crafts with them, and playing sports with them. Of course they LOVE soccer and are incredibly good at it. I tried to play with them and quickly realized I was out of my league. When I think back about our time spent with them, my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude and joy. I remember we were feeding them lunch one day and had passed out all of the food and one of the first things they did was offer us some of their food. On our last day in Ambo, my friend Sarah got extremely sick. I was back at the hotel with her so she could rest when it was time for us to load up the bus to head back to the capital city. Two of the Street Boys were there to help our group load our bags. Sarah was so weak that she had trouble walking to the bus. The two Street Boys went alongside her and basically carried her to the bus. Even now as I think back over that moment I’m overwhelmed by their kindness and their gentle hearts.

• One of the unique things about the timing of our trip was that it was over 2 holidays. The first holiday we celebrated was the New Year. I rang in 2010 in Africa. It’s strange to write that. Sadly, though, I was so exhausted on New Year’s Eve that I went to bed at 10:00 pm...and then was awoken by crazy fireworks at midnight. The interesting thing about Ethiopia is that they do not follow the Gregorian calendar (except for international business). I don’t entirely understand the whole calendar thing, but you can read about it on Wikipedia. In any case, it’s the year 2002 in Ethiopia and it started on our September 11, 2009. So 2003 will begin September 11, 2010. So the fireworks were basically celebrating the New Year for Western culture...oh and we had some glow bracelets (brought with us from the States) that we used to celebrate. :) Since the Ethiopian calendar is different than our calendar, their Christmas is celebrated on a different day as well. In Ethiopia, Christmas is celebrated on January 7th so we were able to be there for that celebration as well. Obviously, Christmas celebrations in a third world country are very different than Christmas celebrations in the States. I was told by most people there that Christmas would be celebrated with a nice meal. No gifts. In the Orthodox church, members attend church all through the night on Christmas Eve and then sleep on Christmas day. On Christmas Day we went to one of our translators house, Tadi, and his mother made us all coffee. We also went back to Hannah’s Hope to see their Christmas pageant.

• On our last day in Ethiopia we had a chance to do a little bit of sightseeing. Our translators, Surafel (who is also the Manger of TOMS Shoes in Ethiopia!) and Tadi (who is an aspiring break dancer and told us he learned English by watching Martin Lawrence movies!) took us to the Orthodox church in Addis Ababa where the royalty worship. It was cool to see and I learned some very interesting things (I’ll be glad to share more if you’re interested, just let me know!) about the Orthodox church. When we were given a tour of the church we were told that some children of a former king are buried underneath the church. We were also told that the Orthodox church still practices the Old Testament belief that only the High Priest can go behind the curtain once a year to present offerings before the tabernacle (there are replicas in most of the Orthodox churches, but it’s believed that the real tabernacle is in Northern Ethiopia). They still tie a rope around the High Priest so that they can pull him out if he’s struck dead because he enters while he’s unclean. One last fun piece of information...Rastafari (the Bob Marley religion) worships the former Emperor of Ethiopia who’s tomb is inside this church (they believe he is an incarnation of Christ). Bob Marley’s wife visits the church that we went to once a year to clean the tombs of the emperor and his wife.

This only scratches the surface of my experiences during my 2 weeks spent in Ethiopia. I know that my time there has forever changed me even in ways that still aren’t evident to me yet.