Jaded?

Dear Man at the Gym,

Today we had a conversation at the gym. I was minding my own business, listening to my ipod and lifting weights when you decided to interrupt my workout to give me what I'm sure you assume to be great business advice. Well listen here, sir. When you tell me that it really all comes down to money, I have to disagree with you. In fact, I have to tell you that it's people like you with selfish thoughts like this that have contributed to the downturn of society. People like you feel as though you're entitled to having everything you've ever desired and at any cost. Sir, today you proved to me that sometimes it doesn't matter how much education you have, if you don't have a heart, it doesn't matter. Maybe I'm jaded, but as a matter of fact I happen to think that it isn't about the money. I do believe that it's about finding your passion and your purpose and living fully in this purpose. Sir, I do believe that if I'm following God's will that He will provide for my every need. So, I'm sorry sir if I happen to disagree with you that it isn't about the money and I don't need to have my MBA to be successful. Really, I think all that really matters is loving Christ and loving his people. Maybe this is too simple of a term for you to understand but I promise you that this equation is proven effective. Then again, I'm trying my hardest not to measure my success and effectivness by the world's standards.

So sorry, sir, you haven't burst my bubble. I will continue to pursue God's will--even if it's not about making money. But thanks anyway for the advice.

Sincerely,
Me

PS-I found it pretty funny that you automatically assumed that I was a recent college graduate and you tried to tell me how marketing works. If only you knew how old I am, what I do for a living and that I've been working there for almost 3 years. Good try though.

Conversations with my new friend

I spent the last 2 nights hanging out with the kiddos at the Rescue Mission. It's safe to say that I utterly enjoy my evening spent hanging out with the kids there. Wednesday night I hung out with some of the older girls as we did an ice breaker to get to know them in anticipation for an activity we're planning to do next month. Tonight I spent my time in the nursery with the younger ones. I colored, played catch, played trucks, had my hair done multiple times (apparently the little ones like my long hair), rocked in the rocking chair, and of course laughed a lot. The highlight of my evening was having a conversation with a little girl who is about 5 years old. We were sitting on small wooden chairs next to the coloring table when she noticed my necklace. She wasn't the first child of the evening to start playing with my necklace, a silver cross with a turquoise stone in the middle--a couple of them had asked about it (one even put it into her mouth...can we say "germs"?). Then we had this conversation:

Little girl: Jesus
Me: Yep, Jesus. What happened to Jesus on the cross?
Little girl: He bleeded down
Me: That's right. For you and me, right?
Little girl: *nodded*
Me: What happened next?
Little girl: He died.
Me: That's right, he did. What happened then?
Little girl: He came back to life.
Me: Yep! He did! Where is he now?
Little girl: *Just kind of looks at me*
Me: Is he in heaven?
Little girl: *smiles* yes!
Me: And someday we'll get to be there with him, right?
Little girl: Yes, some day.
Me: Do you love Jesus?
Little girl: Yes, I love Jesus lots.

The conversation went on a bit longer, but she was mumbling so I couldn't quite make out what she was saying. Nevertheless, it amazes me so how a five year old can have such a grasp on the story of the Gospel. I certainly pray that she never forgets what happened on the cross and what it means for us. And I pray that she continues to grow and understand the love that our Savior has for her.

Contemplating thoughts from a friend

About a month ago I had a conversation with my friend Sam about faith. Sam and I became friends while he was interning here at The Happiest Place on Earth. During his time here in Orlando we talked a lot about our purposes in life. Sam was trying to figure out what his next step was after his internship was over and I, of course, am sure I'm on a constant journey of seeking the Lord's Will for me. We talked a lot about God's call to serve and how we can do that in both secular roles and in ministry positions.

Anyway, back to my conversation I had with Sam about a month ago. I talked to him and he revealed a lot of great things that God has been doing in his life. But something he said has stuck with me over the past few weeks. Sam spoke of how for so long in his life he had asked God to drive out the "demons" in his life. And constantly, God was faithful and did this, delivering him from tough situations and the things that laid heavy on his heart. But then Sam told me that these things--demons--would always creep back into his life. He said he finally realized that while he was asking God to remove these things from his life, God was delivering and doing that, but then he (Sam) wasn't filling those now emptied spots in his life with anything of substance and truth so it just left room for those demons to enter right back in. He told me that when he finally started to replace those demons with words of Truth and actions of faith, he was able to walk further and more permanently away from the demons. (This, of course, is my paraphrased version of our conversation. Sam would certainly do a much better job telling you about his experiences.)

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm constantly asking God to deliver me from hard situations and to remove the "demons" that are haunting me. And he does, because our Lord is good and loving and faithful. But I also have to do my part. I need to be living, breathing, reading, and consuming the Word constantly. Those spaces in my life that were once filled with corruption and sin and shame now need to be filled with Love. I can't continually expect God to keep pulling me out of the pits of despair that I get myself into (although, I have no doubt that He loves me so much that He would continually pull me out and save me) without making some attempt to follow Him, honor Him, grow in his Grace and Truth and Mercy.

I'm learning slowly that it's more than just turning away from sin...it's about turning towards Grace and living fully in it.

I'm thankful for friends that share their lives with me and without even knowing it, speak into my life. Thanks Sam for sharing your life with me.

What are you pursuing?

I can't stop thinking about the sermon that Ted gave this morning at City Church. He spoke this morning on Mark 8:27-38. The part that really convicted me was verse 35, "For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it." I've heard this verse more times than I can count in my life. I get it. I'm supposed to turn from this earthly world so that I can have eternal life. Right? Got it. But really? Did I understand? Did I ever really, truly get it? What does it mean to turn away from the earthly world? What does it really mean to deny myself of the earthly desires I have? So I rarely swear, I don't get drunk, I tithe, I go to church on Sunday, I go to Bible study during the week, I volunteer, etc., etc., etc. That's counter-cultural, isn't it? That's what it means to deny my earthly desires, right? I don't get to sleep in on Sundays and I give a portion of my pay check to the church. That's sacrifice, isn't it?

Or is it?

Then Ted asked the question, "What are you pursuing to make your life more enjoyable? What's that next thing you have to have to be content?" Am I putting those things before my walk with Christ? Here I am pursuing and desiring the next thing in life in hopes that it will give me temporary satisfaction when all along God has made it clear that in the long run the only thing that gives true satisfaction is eternal life with Him. So I'm spending my time desiring this perfect life--longing for marriage, kids, a family, a house--all of which can be great and wonderful blessings. But in the meantime, I spend so much time focusing on what it takes to get to these next goals that I'm missing what it means to fully worship my Lord and Savior. What if He took everything I have away tomorrow? What if tomorrow my job, the roof over my head, my car, my family, my friends, etc. were gone? Could I still find satisfaction in Christ alone? Would I still see my every need met in Christ? What if God's will for my life is to be single forever and never to have kids? Could I still be satisfied in Him? Could I still find all the approval I need in Him? I've been thinking about that a lot today. And honestly, I think I'd struggle to be satisfied in Him if he took all I had away tomorrow. Heck, I'm often unsatisfied as it is now because I'm spending my time seeking the next stage in life.

How can I die in this life so that I can gain eternal life? It's certainly something I'll be thinking about in the upcoming days and weeks. How can I be satisfied in my identity in Christ?

I want to spend a lifetime pursuing and falling in love more and more with my Savior -- I'll let him put the rest of the pieces into place.

New Recipe

Fawn and I are having 2 of our friends, Matt and John, over for dinner tomorrow night. I offered to cook for them and in return, Matt offered that him and John would cook for Fawn and I. It sounded like a fair trade to me! Yesterday, Fawn and I were throwing around ideas for Tuesday night's menu. We decided that Italian Grilled Chicken would be on our menu, but were kind of at a loss for delicious sides. We easily settled on baked potatoes b/c they're simple and a great summer food. I started searching recipe sites for another delicious summer side. I found a recipe that looked pretty interesting for 3 Bean Salad. The ingredients included fresh rosemary and parsley and so I thought it was worth a try. We made the salad tonight and let me just say...it is AMAZING!! And it was so incredibly simple. There's no cooking involved, just chopping and mixing. Anyway, here's the delicious recipe from Simply Recipes (be sure to check the website for a good picture...I'm a visual person and always need a picture with my recipes):

Three Bean Salad Recipe

Ingredients

1 15-oz can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
1 15-oz can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 15-oz can garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
2 celery stalks, chopped fine
1/2 red onion, chopped fine
1 cup fresh, finely chopped flat-leaf parsley
1 Tbsp fresh finely chopped rosemary

1/3 cup apple cider vinegar
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Method

1 In a large bowl, mix the beans, celery, onion, parsley and rosemary.

2 In a separate small bowl, whisk together the vinegar, sugar, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Add the dressing to the beans. Toss to coat.

3 Chill beans in the refrigerator for several hours, to allow the beans to soak up the flavor of the dressing.

Serves 4 to 8.

Coming to a theater soon...

I'm SO excited to see this movie. Been looking forward to it since I saw the trailer back in April when I went to see "Sunshine Cleaning" (which, btw, I really liked. Call my movie tastes eclectic.).

How Powerful

I often question why God brought me to Orlando. I'm sure there are many reasons, some that I may not ever understand, but I realized tonight that God is forming my heart here. I feel as though God is slowly breaking down the walls of my heart and revealing more about his unfailing love and power.

Tonight, I was reminded again of the great power of the gospel. We hear these verses at Christmas time, but as we read them tonight at small group I was overwhelmed with how amazing my Jesus is.

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
- Isaiah 9:6

God sent His only Son for me, to die on the cross for my sins as the ultimate sacrifice. He was blameless and yet here I am, full of sin and fault, yet allowed to live fully in the grace and mercy and love of my just and righteous Father.

I've heard these Truths for as long as I can remember and yet the power of it renews my soul every time I hear it or read it.

On the way home, I listened to "True Love" by Phil Wickham. Listen and let the Gospel speak to your heart.