What are you pursuing?

I can't stop thinking about the sermon that Ted gave this morning at City Church. He spoke this morning on Mark 8:27-38. The part that really convicted me was verse 35, "For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it." I've heard this verse more times than I can count in my life. I get it. I'm supposed to turn from this earthly world so that I can have eternal life. Right? Got it. But really? Did I understand? Did I ever really, truly get it? What does it mean to turn away from the earthly world? What does it really mean to deny myself of the earthly desires I have? So I rarely swear, I don't get drunk, I tithe, I go to church on Sunday, I go to Bible study during the week, I volunteer, etc., etc., etc. That's counter-cultural, isn't it? That's what it means to deny my earthly desires, right? I don't get to sleep in on Sundays and I give a portion of my pay check to the church. That's sacrifice, isn't it?

Or is it?

Then Ted asked the question, "What are you pursuing to make your life more enjoyable? What's that next thing you have to have to be content?" Am I putting those things before my walk with Christ? Here I am pursuing and desiring the next thing in life in hopes that it will give me temporary satisfaction when all along God has made it clear that in the long run the only thing that gives true satisfaction is eternal life with Him. So I'm spending my time desiring this perfect life--longing for marriage, kids, a family, a house--all of which can be great and wonderful blessings. But in the meantime, I spend so much time focusing on what it takes to get to these next goals that I'm missing what it means to fully worship my Lord and Savior. What if He took everything I have away tomorrow? What if tomorrow my job, the roof over my head, my car, my family, my friends, etc. were gone? Could I still find satisfaction in Christ alone? Would I still see my every need met in Christ? What if God's will for my life is to be single forever and never to have kids? Could I still be satisfied in Him? Could I still find all the approval I need in Him? I've been thinking about that a lot today. And honestly, I think I'd struggle to be satisfied in Him if he took all I had away tomorrow. Heck, I'm often unsatisfied as it is now because I'm spending my time seeking the next stage in life.

How can I die in this life so that I can gain eternal life? It's certainly something I'll be thinking about in the upcoming days and weeks. How can I be satisfied in my identity in Christ?

I want to spend a lifetime pursuing and falling in love more and more with my Savior -- I'll let him put the rest of the pieces into place.