Ramblings...

It's November. I can hardly believe it. Daylight Savings Time has ended and the Holiday season is drawing near. It seems like only yesterday I was complaining of the dead heat that defines Florida Summers--then again, this past week it was recording breaking temperatures here in Florida, so I was probably complaining of the dead heat that now defines Florida Falls, too! In any case, life has been crazy and unpredictable lately. Like normal, I've had my fair share of ups and downs, but I can't deny that I've been in the midst of experiencing the work of God both on my life and the lives of the people around me.

In an effort to keep private struggles somewhat private, this will be somewhat vague. As I've struggled with how to serve and honor my Savior before all else, I've been confronted with a whole gamut of emotions over the past several weeks. I've been sorting through the lies that society, culture and Satan have continually tried to feed me and found Truth and comfort in the reaffirming words of a Savior that provides for my every need. I've been prayed with and prayed for so intensely that I cannot deny that my Jesus knows me, knows my heart, and cares about my every thought, my every action and my every desire. I've been convicted of wanting the things of this world more than the eternal love and life that Christ has to offer. My idols have begun to reveal themselves and I'm being forced (a good thing, of course) to face those idols and make decisions whether I'm going to bow to them or to my Jesus. It's a battle that all of mankind will surely continue to fight until the end of time--how to live in this world but not be of this world. I've also realized that I don't entirely trust Jesus all of the time (okay, most of the time) with my life. I don't trust that He will provide, I don't trust that He will answer prayers, I don't trust that He will mend broken hearts and broken relationships, I don't trust that He will forgive, and I don't trust that He will always love me. Yeah, I know, those are huge issues. I recognize that. And I'm realizing that in order to trust him I have to give up control (all of it!) to him and just allow him to work. Logically, it shouldn't be that hard, right? I mean, why shouldn't I be able to trust the creator of the universe, the all powerful, all knowing, all loving God? Crazy. When I think about who God is it seems ridiculous for me to not want to give absolutely everything I have up to him. Slowly I'm realizing that giving it up is so much easier than fighting to keep control when I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. And I'm realizing that it makes much more sense to let God, who sees the past, present, and the future and knows the plans he has for me both now and in the future, have control over my life. (This is a crazy long paragraph that probably makes absolutely no sense...ha!)

As for more specifics of how God is working in my life--He's beginning to show me why Orlando is The City Beautiful and let me just say that I certainly don't believe it's the buildings, the landscape, or the amusement parks. Rather, The City Beautiful is beautiful because of its people. Whether it's my church family, my Celebration friends, my work friends, or the faces of the children and parents of OURM, I see God moving and working in all of their lives (often, without these people even knowing it). At OURM (Orlando Union Rescue Mission) I find myself eager to go and serve and love and at the end of my time there realizing that I'm likely receiving more than I'm even able to give. Spending time with the children at OURM is so incredibly rewarding (although, certainly challenging at times!). When I walked in a few weeks ago, a little boy immediately ran up to me and wanted to be held. As I sit here thinking about how insignificant that seemed at the time, I realize that this little boy trusted me without hesitation. He didn't judge me for the color of my skin, what kind of job I have, how much money I had, what kind of clothes I was wearing, etc. A lot of the children there are like that...they just want your attention. They want to love you and be loved in return. They want what so many of us want---relationships, community. And I give because it's the one thing I know I'll always have to give--I can give love. Freely. Because it was first given to me.

The most exciting news as of recent (that will soon be receiving its very own dedicated blog post) is that I'm going to Ethiopia, Africa in just TWO months!!! I'll save all the details for the blog post that will be coming in the next few days (waiting on a few details to be able to share with you all), but I just couldn't wait any longer to share the news (as I've known for about a week and a half now). I'll be gone for 2 weeks to do missions with two absolutely fantastic organizations and I couldn't be more excited about the opportunity and the work God has laid before me. Please be praying for the trip and for all the people traveling with me and for all of the people we are sure to meet.

So there it is. My ramblings. On a very surface level, of course. the end :)